Two Lives

With just two pages to go before I finished Two Lives, I remembered Vikram Seth is also a poet. A quick scan through the pages after I was done revealed that though this is no The Golden Gate, his novel in verse, the prose is nothing if not rhythmic. Almost as if Seth sung out his lines as he wrote them. (I actually think such writing would be instinctive for him). Here's a simple example I've picked out,

"A patient rang the doorbell; he was in acute distress. Henny told him that Shanti was too ill to help him. But when Shanti came out of his room and recognised the man, he told Henny that he could not go into hospital without treating him."

Of course, one might think there's not much to that sentence, but I'm pretty much convinced that rhythm matters deeply to Seth. Perhaps it is because the only other book I've read of his is An Equal Music. In Two Lives, Seth also reveals something of the way he approached this book,

In a double biography, an intertwined meditation, where the author is anomalous third briad, sometimes visible, sometimes not, there are intriguing possibilities of structure. For one thing, in what order should one recount events? ...Though I now know where to end this book, I did not at first know where to begin it...

It's a reminder that even celebrated writers are mortal (and therefore like me!), and that matters of form, structure and substance need to be worked on even by them, much like a random post in any blog! Two Lives also answers partly, the quesiton of what happened to the Jews who survived Hitler and what life was like for those who stayed on in Berlin after it was bombed out in the closing days of World War II. Indeed, this review quotes a line that may tell you more about the man who shaped the 20th century,

Shanti left Germany in 1936, though not before coming across Hitler in a Berlin park, surrounded by SS men. "He had a bridge in his mouth and he was made up with lipstick and all," he told the author. "I thought he might be a homo - but later on I found out they were going to film him in color."

My Favourite Communist and The Perfect Solution

My Favourite Communist

With all this constant newsroom talk of Leftist politics and Leftist hypocrisy, the only 'Comrade' I can stand these days is a gentleman named Psmith, with a silent 'P'. I'd think Psmith's legendary coolness would be a refreshing change from Comrade Karat's fervent, "if the Centre has any self-respect, it should recall the Ambassador" line.
On second thoughts, Comrade Karat's own inspiration to turn the Left into 'biting dogs' rather than 'barking' ones in recent days must have stemmed from Psmith's gentle explanation in Leave it to Psmith, in which our hero casually explains after pinching an umbrella, "other people merely talk about the redistribution of property; I practise it."!!

Overheard at the CPI headquarters

Indeed, I can see it all in my mind's eye. At the same time as Comrade Karat's above-mentioned epiphany, Comrade Bardhan must have finished Psmith in the City. And much in the manner of our protagonist in his 2nd adventure, called up Comrade Karat to complain about Capitalist Manmohan, "...he always set us down as mere idlers. Triflers. Butterflies. It would be a wholesome corrective for him to watch us perspiring like this in the cause of Communism."*

'Great Scott,' Karat would have said, 'there'll be a row.'

''Some slight temporary breeze, perhaps,' Bardhan would have said. 'Annoying to men of culture and refinement, but not lasting.' And so on and on...

The Perfect Solution

Smooth operator though he is, I suspect Comrade Psmith would find the Congress-Left slug fest too distasteful to enter. And although there's an uneasy truce on, everyone (journalists, sources to journalists, bosses, blog pundits) says it's a matter of time before our communist brethren take up the cudgels again. We will then have to turn to the services of that famed troubleshooter Jeeves.
Don't be surprised though, if the Perfect Jeeves Solution to the Left-UPA marital crisis involves a few unexpected engagements (a la Bobbie Wickham or Honoria Glossop), a few maidens pushed into a handy swimming pool and a fearsome aunt or two!

-----------------------------

* all quotes pinched from Psmith in the City and Leave it to Psmith. In the original line, Psmith uses the term commerce instead of communism.

Monday farce: Left is right

An electric shock at the bath is not the best way to begin a Monday, but that's precisely what I had to endure as I stretched my right hand to the tap this morning. A few seconds later I stood, dripping on the bedroom floor with the dual knowledge that I'd received a nasty shock and screamed - not a term you would associate with a man.

Indignation at the way our rented house is wired aside, there was some irony as well. It was as if the gods were punishing my right hand, on World Left-Handers Day. Had I not committed various blasphemies for a left-hander in recent years? From deigning to shake hands with my right (as the world at large does), to eating with my right in temples where using your left is frowned upon. Indeed it occurs to me, you would have been 'punished' too if you're a lefty, for accepting to live in a right-handed world. Aren't shirt buttons, jeans zips, car doors, scissors - even guitars designed to the convenience of our heavily populated evil cousins?

When I become a dictator I shall abolish all right-handedness and even change our lexicon while I'm at it. In Hindi, the left hand is also known as Ulti haath, which translated means 'upside down'. In Kannada, the right hand is called Balagai, which literally means 'hand of strength'. My Ministry for Good Behaviour and Speech will have one John McEnroe as Chief Minister. The head of my Anti-Narcotics and Psychotropic Substances Bureau will be Jimi Hendrix. And I shall coerce Sourav Ganguly to be Minister for Diplomacy and Foreign Relations. You get the picture right? And finally, anyone who hasn't read Ursula K Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness will be punished!

Measuring the World

I have a tendency to distrust writers I haven't heard of. Yes, I know it's ridiculous and it's probably why I read too many Dick Francis novels again & again. But this admission shouldn't make you believe that I don't step out of my comfort zone. Once in a while, a book slips in between the cracks of my armour. One such example is Measuring the World.

At first glance it seemed a little strange, an English translation of a German novel about two 19th century scientists - Alexander von Humboldt, the explorer and naturalist and Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss the mathematician and astronomer. Humboldt became famous for, among other things establishing that the river Orinoco was connected to the Amazon. Wikipedia says of him in his prime, "with the exception of Napoleon Bonaparte, Humboldt was now the most famous man in Europe."

The other man Gauss, knowns as 'the prince of mathematicians' believed that parallel lines meet. This motif is also used to describe the parallel lives of the two scientists who may have never met in real life. In the book though, they do. Measuring the World is a witty, wicked tale that takes liberties with some facts but it's a delight - for the writer's style is unique. Read it if you can, don't wait for the book to fall on your head in some dusty bookshop.

p.s. I only realised I was reading another best-seller (not that the label should count for much) halfway through the novel when glancing through the blurb I'd earlier glazed over-

"measuring the world has...sold more than 600,000 copies in Germany, knocking J Rowling and Dan Brown off the bestseller lists."

p.p.s. Just before posting this, I read this review of the book again, and realised that the 2nd para of this piece borrows a phrase or thought from it. I haven't changed what I wrote as a reminder that it's all too easy to 'borrow' from other writers even if one has unwittingly committed the crime!

What to read after Harry Potter 7

You may have finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by now. In the next few weeks, you might even pick up Book One and read the series again. And you might undoubtedly be waiting for the remaining two films in the franchise. But the fact remains that the series is over. There remains the possibility that J K Rowling will find the idea of writing yet another one too hard to resist, but that's leaving things to chance and anyway that will take time. What can you read now that there's that empty void waiting to be filled?
Fortunately there are several books to be read in the fantasy genre for young adults, and all of them excellent. You can of course, choose to go back to the Naughtiest Girl series by Enid Blyton, but something tells me you won't. So here goes:

Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit. J R R Tolkien's masterpiece spawned countless inspirations, J K Rowlings' among one of them. The ultimate quest tale, it charts the travails of Frodo Baggins and his friends as they strive to destroy the evil One Ring. Set in Middle Earth, just before the age of man, it's a rich world of Hobbits, Dwarves, Elves, Wizards and Ents. I read it (after an unsuccessful attempt) during my impressionable college years and the world has never been the same since. And if you haven't been living in Middle Earth yourself, you would have probably heard of the films by now.

Chronicles of Narnia (7 parts). Written from 1950 onwards, Narnia was a world created by Tolkien's fellow Inkling C S Lewis. You can enter this world of magic through a wardrobe, but only if you're in the right house. Started off as the adventures of 4 siblings Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. The books chronicle the classic good vs evil struggle, ending in The Last Battle. You might have seen the film that was released last year. I've read only the first two books so far, but everyone who's read the series swears by it.

Earthsea Quartet by Ursula K Le Guin. Wizards are called Mages in Earthsea and the first in this four-book series, A Wizard of Earthsea tells Duny's tale. Duny, discovered to have magical powers is sent to a school for wizards (sounds familiar?) where his arrogance leads to the unleashing of a shadow upon the world. The books plot his progress from repentance to Archmage, marriage and beyond.

His Dark Materials trilogy. Written by Philip Pullman, it charts the adventures of Lyra and Will, two 12-year-olds through various parellel universes. No wands here, only magical gadgets - an instrument that can answer any question (The Golden Compass) and a knife that can cut out doorways to a parallel universe (The Subtle Knife). The Amber Spyglass concludes the trilogy, which was originally inspired by John Milton's Paradise Lost. Controversial on account of being anti-church, it's an awesome tale. Sort of like a Rolling Stones alternative to the Beatlesque Harry Potter! There's a film coming out this December as well.

The Borrible Trilogy by Michael Di Larrabeiti. I haven't read it but it's recommended by Jayaprakash, a walking encyclopaedia of fantasy/sci-fi literature and writer. He e-mails me,

Borribles are runaway children who...live together in the parts of cities - London in these books - where no one else lives, steal what they need to live from us and are virtually immortal, unless they are caught and their ears cropped, in which case they become mortal children again. These books are full of fellowship, adventure and fun, but also pain, darkness and dirt. They are strongly anti-authoritarian and altogether brilliant.

In fact, Jayaprakash also recommends two standalone books for young adults. Coraline by Neil Gaiman and Grimbold's Other World by Nicholas Stuart Grey. All three recommendations sound very appealing and here's another one for you - wizard-detective Harry Dresden's adventures in the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.

Enough in that list for many a long summer one would think. You can now safely consign the Potter books to the back row of your library!

A slightly different version of this post was posted here.

A hazardous existence

"When I get up in the morning, I find my bed's full of dark small carbon particles, the balcony is full of particles, and it is so difficult to breathe. In the morning we want fresh air, there is nothing like fresh...", says Anil Misra, resident of Sukhdev Vihar, a collection of DDA apartments in South-East Delhi. Misra and his fellow residents have gathered on the terrace of one of the apartments. He gestures to the squat red building, just 28 metres away, from which a chimney is throwing up black smoke. The building houses a Common Bio-Medical Waste Treatment Facility, that 'treats' all the discarded waste from hospitals, nursing homes and dispensaries in Delhi.

Cutting corners

These wastes consist of removed body organs, blood-soaked bandages, surgical gloves, needles, instruments - a mix of organic, plastic and even radioactive matter. Needless to say, this stuff is dangerous. Exposure to waste could lead to infectious diseases, even AIDS if there's contact with infected blood. If plastic parts are burnt, they would release dioxins that are cancerous. And there's always the chance of catching something less menacing. Of course, these risks could be considerably reduced if wastes are treated as per prescribed norms. This essentially means 90 percent of medical waste has to be autoclaved - a process that includes heating waste in a pressurised device to achieve sterilization. Somewhat like 'cooking' wastes in a huge pressure cooker! There's reason to believe though, that best practices are NOT being followed at the Synergy Waste Treatment plan in Sukhdev Vihar. Ravi Agarwal of Toxics Link, a Delhi-based privately funded agency that specializes in toxic waste says, "black smoke means there will be unburnt material coming out...it leads one to think that there is mismanagement on the facility." There's plenty of black smoke out there and it seems clear the company is cutting corners.

A government slip-up?

But even if Synergy Waste was doing a professional job of treating waste, should the plant have been allowed to come up at all in the first place? According to central government guidelines, such plants need to be 'located at a place reasonably far away from residential areas'. This plant though, was set up just 28 metres from the boundary wall of the DDA flats in Sukhdev Vihar. On the other side of the facility lies Haji colony, a densely populated locality. A third side is bounded by Ghaffar Manzil. "We thought it was going to be a godown of sorts, we only realised what it was when the chimney was erected", says Shahid Hasan a resident of the corner flat that is closest to the plant. Air Commodore Mehra, another resident echoes, "28 metres or 30 metres from our boundary is certainly not reasonable.we would like this to be shut down or shifted to another place." The colony hasn't spared any efforts - they've petitioned the Delhi govt, the State Pollution Control Board and the matter currently rests with the Lieutenant Governor of Delhi, Tejendra Khanna. There's also the matter of a precedent in this case - a similar plant was shut down earlier this year in Kota, Rajasthan.

Where do the wastes go?

Residents of Sukhdev Vihar say medical wastes should be disposed-off in hospital incinerators, like they used to before. Bigger hospitals may do that efficiently, but who will police the smaller nursing homes and clinics? How many times has one seen wastes strewn about in street corners? Agarwal says centralised waste treatment plants are the best bet - not only are they cost-efficient, they're also safer.But only if, (and it's a big IF) they're not bang in the middle of residential neighbourhoods.

This was a report I filed as part of my daily job; it can be found here.

Roger & Rafael: a burgeoning rivalry

Just when I was thinking it would be better to watch Aisam Qureshi (because he volleys on grass) than all those baseline bashers with titles, Nadal and Federer served up a treat at the final. The first five-setter at a Wimbledon final since 2001 when Goran Ivanisevic beat Patrick Rafter was everything a Grand Slam final should be - fast, furious and unbelievably close.

In the end, like tradition demands it at the home of tennis, the usurper had to be content with second place. Federer bawled like a baby after putting away Championship Point and promptly added on a white blazer and white pants. (The wrong way round, according to a few reports)! Who said Wimbledon doesn't make you do quirky things"! And when Federer congratulated Nadal for having made it to a 2nd final in a row, he managed not to sound condescending.

Though Federer reminded us that he had the touch even at the net, it was Nadal who was the revelation. He showed that he could out-volley the champion and unfurl incredible passing shots on grass. The intensity of play did not drop even in the final set. Five-setters tend to be tiring for the viewer as well, especially when the two players are sluggish after giving it their all. But this wasn't so because the points were short. Thankfully, we were spared tedious rallies with both players unafraid to rush towards the net. A brief summary for those who missed the match:

First set 7-6 to Federer. Nadal saves 4 set points in the tie-break, but Federer smashes a back hand volley to end the matter. Absolutely loved the angles Nadal was getting in, he must have rubber wrists!

Second set 6-4 to Nadal. Federer snuffs out two break points with three aces cool as you plesae to make it three games all. But at 4-5, serving to stay in the set, Nadal rushes forward to break him. A wrinkle of two appears on Federer's forehead.

Third set 7-6 to Federer. Unbelievable intensity. Am checking The Guardian's website commentary on the match, while watching the battle on TV. They quote Jimmy Connors on BBC, "if either player drops their level by as much as two percent, they will be totally overrun". Federer quickly ratchets up a lead in the tie-breaker and duly closes the third set out.

Fourth set 6-2 to Nadal. Hold on! Quick as a flash, Nadal snatches a break in the first game of the fourth set and before you realize it, breaks Federer again to go up 3-love. Federer intensely irritated, says 'shit' within range of the umpire's microphone. The marginal calls continue to go Nadal's way, is Hawkeye conspiring against the Champion" Alan Wilkins says something like this on commentary, "Nadal is like Joe Frasier was against Mohammed Ali, he keeps coming at Federer."

Fifth set 6-2 to Federer and with it the match! Both players are moving very well. Federer continues to rely on his serve to bail him out and Nadal is still whipping out passing shots that are hard to comprehend; Nadal also continues to come to the net. Vijay Amritraj in mock-discovery mode, "he likes to volley!" But Federer has begun to lift his levels. He breaks Nadal, his game getting tougher and tougher to match as he rides the momentum. Championship Point is upon us before we know it, and Federer ends it with a smash. Whatta match!

This piece was originally posted here.

MBA degrees for Page 3 gals?

Time magazine's cover story on media mogul Rupert Murdoch's bid for the Wall Street Journal reveals his own viewpoint on what a journalist should be like. Murdoch, in the report,

"...has always said that craving respectability is the beginning of the end for a journalist. 'Journalists should think of themselves as outside the Establishment, and owners can't be too worried about what they're told at their country clubs,' says the man who influences Prime Ministers and Presidents and still poses as a scrappy outsider."

Here's an admission - respectability is what I'm after. I chase after it, turning a blind eye to the need to break stories or what I believe will be half-baked stories. I'm not prolific enough, for fear of filing a report that 'compromises' me. Murdoch's words jolted me, because I realise now that I've often confused respectability for credibility. Credibility is what you get when you're constantly on the field - respectability has nothing to do with it. Just like a journalist needs to have a healthy disregard for all that's fed to him, so must he be wary of being too timid in going after those who've stepped over the line. Do those words resonate in you?

Not that I'm endorsing Murdoch - his reputation for editorial interference precedes him. But perhaps we've been guilty of demonizing him too. Read the entire cover. Before I sign-off, another mischievous quote from him,

'..Murdoch wouldn't be Murdoch if he didn't love sticking it to sanctimonious J-school toffs. "When the Journal gets its Page 3 girls," he jokes late one night, "we'll make sure they have M.B.A.s"...'

How to create comic strips

I've always wondered how comic strips are created. It turns out now that all you need to do is get yourself a banana, diet coke, cat and the right kind of computer. Hard time believing me?! It's all in the Dilbertblog.

On average, you're mean

I suppose all those fusty, badly-dressed statisticians get to revel in their profession and throw up puns like the one on the title of this post, for at least one day. Mark your calendars, for its day after tomorrow - National Statistical Day. How many professions even have their own day?


Number crunchers can thank a shadowy figure from history, one whose name was virtually unpronouncable, at least until I found he was Bengali. Prof. Prasanta Chandra Mahalanobis was born on this day, June 29th, 1893. He founded the Indian Statistical Institute and is even named after a statistical principle - Mahalanobis distance (click at your own peril!).


The reason I'm referring to him, is that he was the architect of India's 2nd five-year plan (1956-61) which took India towards industrialization. The period we're talking about resulted in the building of massive dams, steel plants and power plants - all the building blocks of modern India. The country took turns that were to influence society, economy, politics and foriegn relations for a better part of 40 years. Of course, many of the above 'achievements' had unintended consequences and there is much debate today about the effectiveness of following such a policy.

Yes, I continue to be influenced by Ramachandra Guha's India after Gandhi.

"Now he who controls distribution no longer controls news."

So says Jeff Jarvis, of The Times-Picayune, that brave New Orleans newspaper that refused to stop churning out reports despite losing their printing press during Hurricane Katrina's onslaught. Read his piece at the digital version of The Guardian, reborn as a tabloid. This digital version (as opposed to Guardian unlimited), may I add, is available for free only for a short while. So hurry!

Back to what I was trying to figure out - yes, we do know that blogs are changing the business of delivering news, but we do not yet know how it is going to affect the lives of we, who work for the media. Insights, anyone?

Idhar, Udhar and Lekin

Looks like stereotypes aren't partial to English news coverage alone. Last night's carpool ride with a Hindi journalist was illuminating. He was complaining of the new in-thing - the minute-long story (as opposed to the now outmoded 90 second story). And the unwritten rule in writing them apparently involves the usage of Idhar, Udhar and Lekin (meaning 'here', 'there' and 'but' in Hindi). His example was simple enough, but please excuse my Hindi. I can vouch for the translation though!

Voiceover 1 - Idhar sansad main Congress ne bataaya ki Bihar assembly dissolution sahi tha. (Here in the parliament, the Congress party said that dissolving the Assembly in Bihar was the right thing to do).

Soundbite 1 - some politician mouthing off.

Voiceover 2 - Udhar BJP ne arop lagaya ki Congress galat tha. (There the BJP said, the Congress were in the wrong).

Soundbite 2 - some BJP politician yelling into the boom mic.

Voiceover 3 - Lekin, is maamle mein kaun sahi hain, sirf waqt hi bataayega.(But only time will tell who is right)

Key: (For those who aren't working in tv news).
Voicover - That part of a tv news 'story' when a disembodied voice speaks over visuals.
Soundbite - That part of story when a part of someone's interview is cut and spliced into the narrative.

What is the tv news world coming to? People, do you really want to be fed crap like this? Zzrrrppkkffff.